first class :: where do i stand?

one of the inspirations for these posts is my work with Vinn Marti, Zuza Engler and a brigade of dancer-student-teachers of Soul Motion™, a conscious movement practice i'm training in. there are many layers and points of view to this work; in this particular context, what i'll say is that the practice has helped me to see, and reveal myself, to others, in a clearer, more courageous way. and to be available to see the nature of my fellow dance-travellers as a reflection-echo of who "i" am. i am learning, in achingly small and magnificent increments, to utter -- in movement and stillness -- words like god and love. my intention in engaging in the first formal Soul Motion teacher training is to encourage in myself and in all those, seen and unseen, clarity of experience. i taught my first Soul Motion class on New Year's morning in a wood-heated yurt at Salamander Camp in the Santa Cruz mountains, inviting the theme of Ground with a group of seven. we'd spent the previous few days cooking, cleaning, hiking and making art together, with plenty of time spent apart, too. often i feel challenged (plagued by comparing mind, where everyone loses, by the way!) interacting with "strangers," and, truth be told, nearly retreated from the role of space-holder in a movement meditation session i'd planned. when i reminded the group the evening before, one man's stark questioning -- "no, i still don't understand; just what will we be doing, exactly?" -- provoked hesitation, fear and self-doubt in me. i even the next morning announced that i'd just play the music -- with no real container, intention, commitment, i imagined with relief -- in the kitchen as we ate and cleaned for our departure later that day. somehow, though, we gathered the next morning to begin together, including those who had questioned the night before. we warmed up with spare, vocal, tribal, prayerful music (it was so thrilling to put the playlists together); paused with an inquiry into what ground meant to each of us -- what we stood for, where we aspire to move from as the new year lay before us, with David Whyte's "Opening of Eyes" leading into my comments-- and continued for 45 more minutes. i was nervous to speak to this group of newer and not-so-new dancers, and stated that right out; that helped *me* ground, allowing a trust of the awkward (a flightless bird?), the defeat of expectation. as the music rose and fell, i spoke words of encouragement (sometimes tagging onto a lyric or a rhythm in the music); named what i saw as i moved through the room, listening, engaging, letting be (that last one was the most challenging!). when i noticed people sitting, not really "dancing," my mind presented its usual lecture about my pointless, ineffectual existence. from somewhere else, a soft and clear sense suggested nothing mattered and everything was important. i often lost conscious track of the theme during the session; or, rather, that theme expanded without external suggestion, to include generosity, support, and companionship with self and everything else. duets and small ensembles formed; at one point we wrapped one dear mover with the spiral of art paper we'd created the night before, as she raised her arm, triumphant: Lady Liberty welcoming a thousand pilgrims to solid ground. we ended sitting in a clump by the stove, and each, without prompting, spoke with heart about the year just passed and that just beginning. i saw eyes bright and eyes turning downward and upward; felt joy and communion and gratefulness; and imagined a soft and clear field we built together. here's the playlist: warmup Beata Viscera Jan Garbarek Officium Utferd Jan Garbarek/Agnes Buen Garnås Rosensfole Prayer 1 Jami Sieber Hidden Sky Looking Back Bob Holroyd Without Within Song for the unborn (Reagákeahtes) Mari Boine Gávcci jahkejuogu (Eight Seasons) Orange Sky Alexi Murdoch Time Without Consequence Opening of Eyes David Whyte Close to Home Spiritual High Moodswings Mood Food Bittersweet Symphony The Verve Urban Hymns Stay Human (Stereo Steambath Remix) Michael Franti & Spearhead Six Degrees 100 Jibaro Elkin & Nelson St. Moritz Vibes, Vol. II: Suite Royale Cowboy Rumba Ned Sublette Cowboy Rumba Tengo Sed (The Batidos Song) Batidos Six Degrees 100 Civilians Joe Henry Civilians Will The Circle Be Unbroken The Staple Singers The Oxford American - Southern Sampler 1998 Down In The River To Pray One Accord alive one